OK, so I am 45 years young...
2003, the year when Michael and I were wed.
2006, the year when we tried to adopt.
2008, the year I turned 40
2009, the year Ellie-Marie was born
Those in between years.....between 2003 and 2008 were....years full of indecision and life questions
Myself born a healthy child, was struck as a small child, was on the curve of life and death afterward for a few weeks, worked like no one should have to work, to regain all or most all of the abilities I had beforehand.
To give myself an extra push of self-worth, I worked to prove my abilities and that I wasn't about to let anyone turn my abilities into {disabilities .} Knowing that I was always at a slight disadvantage, made me want to work that much harder to prove that I was more than capable.
Head injury aside and for the inconvenience of having a weakened right side and a right hand that all but useless, I was out to prove that I wasn't any different than the strongest he-man alive!
And I did pretty well, as I held down various driving jobs; one of which my brother (learning disabled) himself and living in a group home at the time (back in the late 1980's) brought my abilities to the attention of one of the home which was in desperate need of a "client driver."
I fit the bill, I guess, as for the next year I was driving two autistic young men to and from their daily activities. One of the men was fairly calm except for the various times he would just get out of my vehicle when I would come to a stop, be it at a traffic light or when I turned off the engine, I'd better be ready to give chase!
The other fellow...he wore a protective helmet because he often times would bang his head for minutes a time as hard as he could against whatever, wall, table, person...whatever....and even though he didn't wear protective underwear as he should have, he would often times have accidents in the back seat of my car.
Oh, the joys....however...
And then the millennium arrived, the 2000....Michael and I would first meet at church and there after, marry three years later, April 19, 2003.
The issue of us starting a family was a hot button topic, as there brought out all of the "what if's."
What if; the child was "normal" how would he cope, as Michael himself had dealt with the issue surrounding cerebral Palsy, epilepsy, migraines, low vision; resulting in an inability to focus, thus he can not read above a lower grade level.
Where as, I just wanted to prove all of the; "why nots?" Why couldn't we just because we had all that against us.....
The years led to unresolved issues being rehashed.....and opening unresolved wounds was....
So, with everything swirling in our heads; I took it upon myself to see what the requirements were to foster or adopt.
March 2006, I sent for and did we receive a introductory package as to the adoption process.
Thereafter, it was months of classes and home visits with the anticipation that we'd one day welcome a home needy child into our fold...
Talk about; stress..I don't know what have could have been more..frustrating...
The frustration came when; we were looked at and or told, that we didn't fit the bill...To get more than half way through the schooling process only to be told....that we weren't "good enough" because we were at a slight disadvantage; lacking the abilities required, among other health issues; brought all of the "what ifs" all over again...
For half of us anyway, I was just furious....and more determined than before....
I was never one for doing something daring, but in 2007 brought a on-line contest I couldn't pass up, for the opportunity to attend a National Hockey League game; it was to win; two tickets to a December 26, 2007 Vancouver Canucks vs Calgary Flames hockey game at then General Motors Place; plus a trip to Disneyland including airfare, hotel, a rental car and three days in the Magic Kingdom.
Imagine my surprise when we received that phone call; that We had Won!
I'll never forget the words of our pastors wife, saying to expect "good things" which I didn't see to mean that we'd be "expecting" by the time of the Disneyland trip, but....We had to be at the airport for a 8am flight, so during our stop over night in a Vancouver Airport hotel, we emailed and face-booked as many people as we could with our news.
The following 2009 January; we welcomed Ellie-Marie into our lives.
And 2010, there would be our little Emily Irene...with all of the complications...plus more....that had so worried Michael.
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